In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You took a bar mat shot.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
