it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Randomize
