Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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