Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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