I accidentally had phone sex last night
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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