i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
