morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
