And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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