belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize