Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
