your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
