well I can't set my house on fire every night
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
