AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i think my cat just said my name.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
