they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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