Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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