Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
