dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize