you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
this beer tastes like vomit already
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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