just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So vagazzling was a success
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
