i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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