why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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