Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
