Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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