just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
