I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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