Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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