hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
