It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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