whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just pynch a tree in the face
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
