Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize