I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
