At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
