I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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