and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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