Porn is love you can see.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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