hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
