dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
