porn star boner night. come get it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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