if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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