dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
