I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
