Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
