i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
