Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize