The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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