She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
