hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also, beer. Big fan.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
