she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
