I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize