Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
