my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize