sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
