i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
