I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize