my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Ladies don't puke and tell
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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