My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
