She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
