it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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