I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
