this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
